


May I return to the beginning

by lesbiantogruta



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, This is not Denial, hey hes fine, posted while drunk & coping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-12 09:20:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15336744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbiantogruta/pseuds/lesbiantogruta
Summary: Mollymauk has been here before. He finds himself helped by someone familiar.





	May I return to the beginning

**Author's Note:**

> This was absolutely written to cope, to make something positive, it may not be like the most canon but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯. I will probably edit i t at some point

 

 

Mollymauk Tealeaf found himself blinded and then all at once--not. He was beside a pool, the water bright and clear. It was as still as a mill pond and he could hear the faint croak of frogs, the chirping of crickets, and the smell of cinnamon in the faint breeze. The pool reflected a dizzying amount of stars that shone overhead.

 

Molly watched as a comet streaked overhead and he found himself so entranced that at first he hardly noticed the ripples that formed lazily on the water.  
Slowly, his eyes followed the faint movement, tracking it to the source--

 

Across from him, kneeling with one foot in the water, the other on the bank of the shore among the cattails and fallen leaves was a girl.  
Her form shifted, wreathed in shadow and moonlight, white hair billowing behind her as if underwater.

  
She was in the process of pouring water from two clay bowls, one emptying into the pool, the other into the soil. Behind her shone a huge bright star.  
Molly found he had had this dream before and it was enough to shake him and remember--

  
Yasha, Jester and Fjord has been taken--how could he had lingered like this when they were in need? The remaining members couldn't afford him to be distracted and gone like this!  
He needed to wake himself up somehow.

  
There he began to try to figure just how he had gotten to this point. They were all so vulnerable...they had met another, a dwarf. They had gotten attacked by bug creatures, lost horses. They found others hurt by the slavers.

  
They planned an ambush, it quickly had soured and there was a glaive and the twisted face of a man that flashed suddenly in his mind and--  
his chest hurt, it grew harder to breathe as his throat seized up and a sensation far too familiar welled up.

  
Memories always hurt, but this time they came in a flood of images and sounds. A gasp. A wail. A rush of wings.

  
Please not now. Not here. Just a little more time.

_There was that Tabaxi, Cree._

  
She changed to Yasha, tears streaking down her face. To Caleb to a half-elf man pleading for him to return, clutching him tightly...

  
Wetness slid down his cheeks as Molly felt himself slip into sorrow and despair at once, the girl and her bowls forgotten, as he collapsed.

  
He felt his knees hit soft sand and found his reflection staring back at him in the pool.

  
There, his bright purple skin, curling locks of violet, the shining red eyes now brimming with tears, mostly for what might happen to the others--had he protected anyone? Had he helped enough? Was he enough?

  
His reflection began to morph, another familiar dream scenario--as the brilliant feathers of the peacock began to fade from his cheek, a red eye growing more prominent..the hair grew longer than what he had woke with those years ago. He found it curled, falling far past his shoulders. The expression shifted, no longer matching his abject hurt, but it change to one of mirth and sharp teeth.  
Molly turned from it, wrapping his arms around himself, wishing for a drink. Something that burned and fucked him up. Something to make him forget again.

  
It was a splashing sound that made him look up again--

  
the girl had dropped one of her bowls into the pool and it disturbed the water, soft waves formed and lapped at his knees as the container drifted towards him.

  
Without thinking he grabbed it up as came near enough. It was heavy, with a sigil of a crescent moon upon it. Picking himself up, Molly made his way to the girl to hand it back to her.

  
"Thank you, Mollymauk." her voice like chimes. She beamed at him, the moonlight growing ever brighter.

  
"You're...welcome." he said it hesitantly, not sure what else to try. He had no charm. No use. He found himself just watching that ever drifting hair, his own tail flicking slightly.

  
"It felt so cold when I woke. And the loneliness...I don't want to feel that again." tears formed again, the idea of that devastating darkness and emptiness filled him with fear.

  
He felt the touch of her hand, jolting him. Where her hand was, warmth bloomed. Her eyes, glowed with radiant white.

  
"Ask me what you want to know."

  
He found there was only one question he had and his throat seized.

  
"Was I good?"

  
"Oh, Molly..." he couldn't meet her eyes now, and she waited until he looked up again.

  
"You were, Mollymauk, you are..." Hands found his.

  
"You aren't done. Not yet."

  
A blue hand now moved to his chest, finding the deep gash and again, heat radiated from the touch as the wound began to knit and close.

  
A rush of air left his lungs as the shimmering stars began to blur as the Moonweaver drifted up to kiss his forehead.

  
There was all at once a sudden great wind, a dance of leaves, and a gale that flipped back his coat, his jewelry clattering.

  
A pain grew sharper, and sharper still and at once he found himself...warm, cocooned in blankets. Familiar faces became distincter by the minute as he looked up to a jubilant asshole perfect monk sister, a sweating, dirty, wonderful human, a drunk brave goblin, and an absolutely cool dwarf smoking desperately.

  
He came back to family, to comfort, to a sudden exclamation of joy. The wondrous happiness filled him to the brim with a love he hadn't known he needed so much until then.

  
Molly watched as Beau and Nott began to swing each other around, whirling across the room, starting a loud chant of _**"MOLLY'S BACK! FUCK LORENZO! LET'S ALL DANCE!"**_ they only grew louder as he distinctly heard a pounding from the neighbors below them.

  
They made him grin so widely and stupidly it hurt as Caleb knelt beside him, kissing his cheek gently.

  
"We-ah-we all missed you dearly, friend." he said in that quiet, hesitant voice, that Molly in his state found to be the most beautiful thing he's ever heard, not to mention those eyes looking at him with so much affection that he felt overwhelmed.

  
"--I'm tired." his own voice was a scratchy awful mess, but Caleb was tucking a strand of hair back from his face and horns and he sighed.

  
Keg had been pulled into the dance now and Beau and Nott's chant had evolved into a song about exactly where they were going to stab Lorenzo repeatedly.

  
Molly was soothed by them, by the hand in his hair and the closeness and he fell into a sleep with only golden dreams, drinking contests, hospital heists, Toya's sweet voice at the carnival, Yasha gently looping an arm around his shoulders...

  
All dreams with promises of a kinder tomorrow. 

**Author's Note:**

> Moonweaver: fucking superb you funky little tiefling


End file.
